I miss you so much. I will always love you forever & ever.

We will be together again someday.

May God bless you & protect you always.

Devotions 09.10.09

S
Therefore I have hope.
The LORD’S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease,
For His compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness.
“The LORD is my portion, ” says my soul,
“Therefore I have hope in Him.”
The LORD is good to those who wait for Him,
To the person who seeks Him.
It is good that he waits silently
For the salvation of the LORD.
It is good for a man that he should bear
The yoke in his youth.
Let him sit alone and be silent
Since He has laid it on him.
Let him put his mouth in the dust,
Perhaps there is hope.
Let him give his cheek to the smiter,
Let him be filled with reproach.
For the Lord will not reject forever,
For if He causes grief,
Then He will have compassion
According to His abundant lovingkindness.

O
GOD is good. He is love & compassion. Eventhough He may let us suffer or be troubled, He will deliver in the end. He knows the right time & the right path. Be silent & patient. Have faith in God & He will deliver. He will not reject or let you suffer forever.

A
God is all knowing. He has a plan for all of us. He let’s things happened for our own good & for us to be better, stronger & wiser, so we can serve Him & glorify His name. Be silent, be still, be patient & have faith in the Lord.

P
Dear our loving Father in heaven. Thank You for all Your blessings & forgivenss of my sin. I pray that you deliver me on the path & purpose that you have planned for me. Please help me learn to be more still, be more silent, be more patient & continue to have faith. I thank You for Your lovingkindess & compassion.

I pray in your most precious name, Jesus Christ, Amen…

Devotions 09.09.09

S
“Fear God, and give Him glory, because the hour of His judgment has come; worship Him who made the heaven and the earth and sea and springs of waters.”

O
Be afraid of God like a child fear his father so to stay disciplined and stay on the right path. By living rightously & being giving & loving you are giving God’s glory. Remember He who created all things and all things are possible. The time will come for Jesus to come again. But do not be afraid if you give him Glory everyday.

A
This is a reminder to me to stay on the right path & the path that God has for me. I need to glorify His name everyday. I need to remind myself that He created all things and is all powerful. My life will be well on His path so don’t be afraid.

P
Dear Lord our Father in heaven. I thank You for everything & all things. Forgive me oh Fahter for all my sins. I want to live on the path & plan you have planned for me. Please help me stay on the right path & use me in anyway everyday to glorify Your name.

I pray in Jesus’s name, Amen.

My Child,

You may not know me,
but I know everything about you.
Psalm 139:1

I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
Psalm 139:2

I am familiar with all your ways.
Psalm 139:3

Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
Matthew 10:29-31

For you were made in my image.
Genesis 1:27

In me you live and move and have your being.
Acts 17:28

For you are my offspring.
Acts 17:28

I knew you even before you were conceived.
Jeremiah 1:4-5

I chose you when I planned creation.
Ephesians 1:11-12

You were not a mistake,
for all your days are written in my book.
Psalm 139:15-16

I determined the exact time of your birth
and where you would live.
Acts 17:26

You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Psalm 139:14

I knit you together in your mother’s womb.
Psalm 139:13

And brought you forth on the day you were born.
Psalm 71:6

I have been misrepresented
by those who don’t know me.
John 8:41-44

I am not distant and angry,
but am the complete expression of love.
1 John 4:16

And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
1 John 3:1

Simply because you are my child
and I am your Father.
1 John 3:1

I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
Matthew 7:11

For I am the perfect father.
Matthew 5:48

Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
James 1:17

For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
Matthew 6:31-33

My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Jeremiah 29:11

Because I love you with an everlasting love.
Jeremiah 31:3

My thoughts toward you are countless
as the sand on the seashore.
Psalms 139:17-18

And I rejoice over you with singing.
Zephaniah 3:17

I will never stop doing good to you.
Jeremiah 32:40

For you are my treasured possession.
Exodus 19:5

I desire to establish you
with all my heart and all my soul.
Jeremiah 32:41

And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
Jeremiah 33:3

If you seek me with all your heart,
you will find me.
Deuteronomy 4:29

Delight in me and I will give you
the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4

For it is I who gave you those desires.
Philippians 2:13

I am able to do more for you
than you could possibly imagine.
Ephesians 3:20

For I am your greatest encourager.
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17

I am also the Father who comforts you
in all your troubles.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4

When you are brokenhearted,
I am close to you.
Psalm 34:18

As a shepherd carries a lamb,
I have carried you close to my heart.
Isaiah 40:11

One day I will wipe away
every tear from your eyes.
Revelation 21:3-4

And I’ll take away all the pain
you have suffered on this earth.
Revelation 21:3-4

I am your Father, and I love you
even as I love my son, Jesus.
John 17:23

For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
John 17:26

He is the exact representation of my being.
Hebrews 1:3

He came to demonstrate that I am for you,
not against you.
Romans 8:31

And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
2 Corinthians 5:18-19

His death was the ultimate expression
of my love for you.
1 John 4:10

I gave up everything I loved
that I might gain your love.
Romans 8:31-32

If you receive the gift of my son Jesus,
you receive me.
1 John 2:23

And nothing will ever separate you
from my love again.
Romans 8:38-39

Come home and I’ll throw the biggest party
heaven has ever seen.
Luke 15:7

I have always been Father,
and will always be Father.
Ephesians 3:14-15

My question is…
Will you be my child?
John 1:12-13

I am waiting for you.
Luke 15:11-32

Love, Your Dad
Almighty God

It’s been so long since I visited this blog. Partly due to pain from memories of the past among other reasons. The pain was so great that I didn’t want to deal with it. I buried it. I ignored it. Hoping that time will heal my pain and everything will be alright.

I recently realized that all of my beliefs in the healing process were wrong. I have a new beginning. I understand that healing is a choice and a process that must take place. Forgiveness is a major part of the healing process.

One of the best gift a very dear friend gave to me was a book ‘Healing is a choice’ by Stephen Artebaum. What an eye opener! The book clearly explains the journey of healing. There are many painful steps along this healing process. I am learning so much about healing. Needless to say, I am very much in the process of healing. And yes, I chose to heal so that I could learn about myself and to understand myself so I could find much more happiness in the future.

Along this healing journey, I have also asked God to be part of my life again.  I had lots of doubt & questions as I experienced pain and anguish of my divorce.  I thought I could handle the recovery process myself.  Was I so wrong.  Since I have lifted up my burdens and problems to God and asked Him for help, He has enriched my life in many ways.  I still must be very patient, stay focus, and listen to Him.  He has the right plan for all of us at the right time.

I am looking forward to embracing life that God has plan for me!

my father standing next to me

It had been 4 years since his passing today. I must say that it hurts less when I think of him, which is essentially everyday. I still miss him very much.  I cherish every moments I spent with him during the last 6 months of his life.  There were many moments of suffering and moments of laughter. I am glad the he was able to spend some times with his grandchildren in the last few months.  I know they cared for him very much. And, I am sure that they miss him as much as I do.

I know that he’s watching over everyone. The picture makes me a believer that he’s always there for me and watching over me. I am comforted to have his love, caring, and protection. I hope that he will guide me in the right direction in life. I hope that he watches over and protect his grandchildren when I could not be there for them. I hope he lets them know that I always love them and think of them and miss them dearly.

I want him to know that I will take care of his wife, my mother. Let her heal and live a happy and productive life.  I try to keep her busy & happy the best way I know how. But, I could use his help to watch over her as well.

On a very sad note, my aunt inlaw passed away rather suddenly from metastatic breast cancer. I feel so sad for my uncle and their son. Apparently she had not been feeling well for a little while. In the last 2 weeks they discovered that she may have cancer in the liver. This turned out to be metastatic tumor from her breast. Chemotherapy was started but her liver began to fail. Her body began shutting down with multiorgan failure.  She passed during the early morning of November 1st. May she rest in peace without any more suffering. She will be missed by many people.

Being a father myself, I wonder what my children think of me now. Do they even think of me?  Do they still remember and miss me. Am I as good as dead to them? Am I merely a memory to them as well?  Do they wish to see me?  Well, I miss them dearly.  I think of them every moment of my waking hours. I wish to be their father and be invlove in their lives. I wish this world is fair and righteous. I look forward to the day that I can be their father again.  I hope they don’t give up on me as much as I hope and pray that I will see them again.

I love you and miss you Pa. And, I love and miss you Christipher, Caitlin, and Elizabeth.

Dearest Lizzy,

I miss you dearly. I miss holding your little body tight and never let you go. I think of you during all my waking moments and in my dreams. I long to hear your voice calling out to me “I love you daddy”. I miss how you run to me and jump in my arms every time you see me.

Happy birthday my baby! I wish I could hold you and tell you in person. I wish you have a wonderful birthday. May God bless you & protect you always. May he grant and allow us to be together again.

I love you always and forever…..

Daddy

Okay…..

It has been a while since I posted anything.  Once again, so much to say but hard to write it down.  I actually had been ignoring my blog for awhile.  Then, I decided to start again.  I will try WordPress for my blogging rant and imported my previous posts here.

Well…

A whole lot had happened since my last post.  Events had turn my life upside down, right-side up, then upside down again!  It had been a bittersweet  experience and very emotional.  In fact, I am not quite sure if I am ready to share yet.  But, I probably need to!  I am crying inside as I think about my life in the last 3 months.

whooo….

The saddest thing right now is that my soon to be 6 year old daughter’s birthday is coming up.  I miss her dearly!

Okay…..better stop for now.

Dearest C_,

I miss you so much. I never stop thinking of you day and night. Your poem was very powerful and very painful. I am sorry that I have caused you much pain. I hope, someday, you can forgive me. I, very much, want to see you grow up to be the most beautiful person. Please take care of yourself.

I will always love you and be here for you.

Love you always,
Daddy