my father standing next to me
It had been 4 years since his passing today. I must say that it hurts less when I think of him, which is essentially everyday. I still miss him very much. I cherish every moments I spent with him during the last 6 months of his life. There were many moments of suffering and moments of laughter. I am glad the he was able to spend some times with his grandchildren in the last few months. I know they cared for him very much. And, I am sure that they miss him as much as I do.
I know that he’s watching over everyone. The picture makes me a believer that he’s always there for me and watching over me. I am comforted to have his love, caring, and protection. I hope that he will guide me in the right direction in life. I hope that he watches over and protect his grandchildren when I could not be there for them. I hope he lets them know that I always love them and think of them and miss them dearly.
I want him to know that I will take care of his wife, my mother. Let her heal and live a happy and productive life. I try to keep her busy & happy the best way I know how. But, I could use his help to watch over her as well.
On a very sad note, my aunt inlaw passed away rather suddenly from metastatic breast cancer. I feel so sad for my uncle and their son. Apparently she had not been feeling well for a little while. In the last 2 weeks they discovered that she may have cancer in the liver. This turned out to be metastatic tumor from her breast. Chemotherapy was started but her liver began to fail. Her body began shutting down with multiorgan failure. She passed during the early morning of November 1st. May she rest in peace without any more suffering. She will be missed by many people.
Being a father myself, I wonder what my children think of me now. Do they even think of me? Do they still remember and miss me. Am I as good as dead to them? Am I merely a memory to them as well? Do they wish to see me? Well, I miss them dearly. I think of them every moment of my waking hours. I wish to be their father and be invlove in their lives. I wish this world is fair and righteous. I look forward to the day that I can be their father again. I hope they don’t give up on me as much as I hope and pray that I will see them again.
I love you and miss you Pa. And, I love and miss you Christipher, Caitlin, and Elizabeth.
